Well, I'm sorry that my blog hasn't been as frequently updated as you all or I would've liked, but I've really been a busy little bee.
Week 7, if I remember correctly, we finished Dialogue in Posture Clinic. We had a couple late nights with Bikram, and I was still recovering from my big physical break down of the previous week. I settled into all of the revelations that I had accumulated to that point, and finally started to smile a little and be social again. My psyche took quite a hit during week 5 and 6, and it really put some distance between me and the other trainees. As much as I hated the feeling of isolation, I realize now that it was more an issue of the trainees not really being sure about how to respond to me. If you don't already know, I am one hell of a strong personality, and even when I was being introverted, I was apparently giving off some HUGE energy that shook people up. It takes a very strong individual to survive me, whether it be friend, family, or lover. So I've unintentionally become the outcast of the group, along with one or two others. I've always had a hard time with cliques anyway, and I remember thinking at the time that this was all just one big simulated high school rerun for me. Except I wasn't ripping egos out of people's asses right and left. . . Yoga has calmed this beast! "Can you believe it?!" So I just sat in my sunny corner of the room and played fly on the wall, silently smiling to myself while watching the social hierarchy run its course.
Week 8 was a strong week for me, though I use the word "strong" relatively and loosely! The yoga is like my life force, my energy source, keeping my mind from going off course... Sorry, had to bust that out for a second! ;-) But its really become the easiest part of this whole game we are playing.
My practice was stronger, or at least I didn't take any breaks. I got the mirror on Friday and nearly cried at the sight, however. Every posture was way off alignment, and overall I looked extremely thin and pale - like holocaust levels of sad. I worked hard that day though, getting everything straightened out with my body and my mind. That mirror is a formidable force!
We had a couple extra Posture Clinics to give us a non-compulsory opportunity to link 3 or more postures together. I know you'll be disappointed, but my mind was just fried, couldn't take in any more information, and I demonstrated in support of the other trainees, but didn't recite any myself. I tried to be warm and friendly to my fellow trainees, because that's what I wanted to be all along before all that buried baggage of mine came exploding to the surface. I don't regret what I went through though, because I've really found myself again. And it had no association with anyone else's opinion or approval. Everybody needs to do that, and for me, it was like being re-baptized! Though my body may be physically tattered and DONE with this place, my mind and my spirit feel "so fresh and so clean-clean!" - I understand this paragraph may have seemed to contain alot of contradictions... Just trust the process!
This weekend we had a Group dinner at an Italian joint close to Manhattan Beach. It was... interesting!... The food was great, couldn't have been better if they had laced it with gold flecks and Ecstasy - or it could've just been the fact that I haven't had Italian since week 2. Whatever. It was PHENOMENAL! Company was generally good. I sensed a little awkwardness coming from a few who had developed some pretty convicting (though asinine) perceptions of me what I assume to have been formed during my big self-realization phase, and had to keep my cool a couple of times while those opinions were nothing short of catapulted down my throat. Also, it was difficult not to LAUGH! But hey, everyone should have the right and the opportunity to speak their peace and choose to "drink the kool-aid" or not. I respect that. And in one week's time, this will all be over. Bittersweet really.
So tomorrow kicks off the 9th and final week of Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. Tonight I played with some make-up and hair ideas for graduation coming up on Saturday, and have my dress (borrowed from my sweet, sweet cousin Liz). I'm enjoying an overall sense of calm heading into the final stretch, I actually believe that I'm at least figuratively speaking, BULLET PROOF. Let's get this done people!
OH - and how could I forget! My first teaching is scheduled for November 28th, at 6:15p back at my home studio in OKC! Who knows how it will go but at least I will be HOME and in my comfort zone again, surrounded by MY people... MY students... Wow, I haven't thought of them like that before... My heart feels warmed... :'-)
Goodnight! And stay tuned! <3
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Week 5 and 6 (ie Journey through Hell)
I didn't want to do another video blog. And Im ok with that, and you'll have to be. :-)
Sorry, I just need to writethisalloutinsteadofawkwardlybalancingmycellphoneonmyflipflop proppedonmypillowsoIcanrecordmyselftalkingtonobodyandhave2freehandstgesturemyfeelings - in an attempt to make talking to nobody less awkward. . . Yeeeaahhh.... Say that 5 times fast. That, and Im apparently going through puberty again, so lets not talk about my twin sister who is growing on my face.
So, its the end of Week 6. And Im still alive, but this time, I feel Im alive in new and different ways. Let's talk about it. As if you have a choice. HA!
Week 5 was the mother load of all emotional breakdowns, and I'm pretty sure having shards of glass individually and SLOWLY inserted into my eyes would've been more pleasant than that. All of the sweating and exercising and not eating and not sleeping somehow managed to peel away some of my compensatory protective layers and wave upon wave of buried suppressed emotion came exploding out of me like last night's bad Mexican food. Who knew I had any of that?! (insert sarcasm here). Its literally been more than 10 years since I have had wild unbridled emotional outbursts like that. I realized that I've been listening to every toxic person in my whole life that has told me that feeling anything is crazy, insane, unstable, unattractive, and irrational. But everything I experienced in week 5 felt like... growing pains... It was the most agonizingly natural thing Ive ever done to just purge it, let it out. I dealt with everything from childhood, familial traumas, past relationships, self-identity, my grandfather's death, social malfunctions, and many other.... touchy feely... things.... Im currently at this really awkward raw stage where even though I havent really made myself vulnerable to anyone or talked much to anyone (with the exception of tonight, we'll get to that later), I feel SO vulnerable for the first time, to myself. I'm seeing myself. . . No, facing myself, head on. The verdict is still out on the final product of that, so I will get back to you on it.
Week 6, this past week, I really hit my physical limit. Despite my efforts to keep up the caloric intake, water intake, electrolyte balance, sugar homeostasis, etc - my body had enough. One of the staff members literally had to sling me over her shoulder and help me up to my room. I spent about 24 hours in bed nursing myself back to health, thinking in the back of my head I needed to get to a hospital or clinic for some IV fluids or something. I'm at the end of week 6 now and feel like my body is just now returning to a comfortable state of shock! No where near 100% but at least a minimum capacity to function has been restored! Hallelujah!
Thus far, this experience has really taught me more patience, flexibility, calm, strength, and adaptability than I ever thought I was capable of. So Im happy. Really happy. Feels funny, but I think its a deeper sense of being human than Ive ever felt before. The subtle corrections and redirections that I've made have brought alot of things full circle, and have brought true closure. My only true regret is that I cant really share this experience with someone, deeply. Of course Im talking about love, but I figure my time for love is coming soon. I've met thousands upon thousands of people in my life, and no one has really ever touched me, so the odds are gradually shifting to my favor that I will soon find that one guy, that will protect my heart so I won't have to...
Aside from love though, I actually do have someone sharing in all of this with me. 400 someone's, in fact. A friend and I had a disarmingly deep (well, as deep as two people who dont know each other from Adam could muster) conversation over pizza. I learned some really interesting things about him, connected with him, and awkwardly had to restrain myself from reaching out to him, like physically touching him, comforting him, and spilling my own guts. I realized that I have wanted to reach out to many of the trainees like that but have been afraid to do so or receive such a gesture. I have alot of presence, and alot of compassion in me. The cup runneth over! However due to a number of different fears, its hard for me to open up. I automatically think that if I let somebody get close to me or if I get close to someone else, something terrible will happen. Emotionally constipated I guess. Yoga is a laxative... hmm...
So, 3 weeks left. Posture clinics and Dialogue recitation should come to an end within the next week, and Bikram will be lecturing on each individual posture soon. We are having a Halloween party Monday night, hopefully it won't turn out to be some sort of vapid freak show! 6 weeks of seeing each other half-naked in a hot room is bound to have some... effects. . . Im sure the buzz of Graduation will start to pick up, as will the realization that this "yoga bubble" won't last forever. As disconnected as Ive felt from everyone the past couple of weeks, I cant begin to explain the sadness I feel about having to say goodbye to some. I hope that in the coming weeks, I can at least express that sentiment to the ones that have impacted me the most.
Goodnight my pets! You'll hear from me again soon!
Sorry, I just need to writethisalloutinsteadofawkwardlybalancingmycellphoneonmyflipflop proppedonmypillowsoIcanrecordmyselftalkingtonobodyandhave2freehandstgesturemyfeelings - in an attempt to make talking to nobody less awkward. . . Yeeeaahhh.... Say that 5 times fast. That, and Im apparently going through puberty again, so lets not talk about my twin sister who is growing on my face.
So, its the end of Week 6. And Im still alive, but this time, I feel Im alive in new and different ways. Let's talk about it. As if you have a choice. HA!
Week 5 was the mother load of all emotional breakdowns, and I'm pretty sure having shards of glass individually and SLOWLY inserted into my eyes would've been more pleasant than that. All of the sweating and exercising and not eating and not sleeping somehow managed to peel away some of my compensatory protective layers and wave upon wave of buried suppressed emotion came exploding out of me like last night's bad Mexican food. Who knew I had any of that?! (insert sarcasm here). Its literally been more than 10 years since I have had wild unbridled emotional outbursts like that. I realized that I've been listening to every toxic person in my whole life that has told me that feeling anything is crazy, insane, unstable, unattractive, and irrational. But everything I experienced in week 5 felt like... growing pains... It was the most agonizingly natural thing Ive ever done to just purge it, let it out. I dealt with everything from childhood, familial traumas, past relationships, self-identity, my grandfather's death, social malfunctions, and many other.... touchy feely... things.... Im currently at this really awkward raw stage where even though I havent really made myself vulnerable to anyone or talked much to anyone (with the exception of tonight, we'll get to that later), I feel SO vulnerable for the first time, to myself. I'm seeing myself. . . No, facing myself, head on. The verdict is still out on the final product of that, so I will get back to you on it.
Week 6, this past week, I really hit my physical limit. Despite my efforts to keep up the caloric intake, water intake, electrolyte balance, sugar homeostasis, etc - my body had enough. One of the staff members literally had to sling me over her shoulder and help me up to my room. I spent about 24 hours in bed nursing myself back to health, thinking in the back of my head I needed to get to a hospital or clinic for some IV fluids or something. I'm at the end of week 6 now and feel like my body is just now returning to a comfortable state of shock! No where near 100% but at least a minimum capacity to function has been restored! Hallelujah!
Thus far, this experience has really taught me more patience, flexibility, calm, strength, and adaptability than I ever thought I was capable of. So Im happy. Really happy. Feels funny, but I think its a deeper sense of being human than Ive ever felt before. The subtle corrections and redirections that I've made have brought alot of things full circle, and have brought true closure. My only true regret is that I cant really share this experience with someone, deeply. Of course Im talking about love, but I figure my time for love is coming soon. I've met thousands upon thousands of people in my life, and no one has really ever touched me, so the odds are gradually shifting to my favor that I will soon find that one guy, that will protect my heart so I won't have to...
Aside from love though, I actually do have someone sharing in all of this with me. 400 someone's, in fact. A friend and I had a disarmingly deep (well, as deep as two people who dont know each other from Adam could muster) conversation over pizza. I learned some really interesting things about him, connected with him, and awkwardly had to restrain myself from reaching out to him, like physically touching him, comforting him, and spilling my own guts. I realized that I have wanted to reach out to many of the trainees like that but have been afraid to do so or receive such a gesture. I have alot of presence, and alot of compassion in me. The cup runneth over! However due to a number of different fears, its hard for me to open up. I automatically think that if I let somebody get close to me or if I get close to someone else, something terrible will happen. Emotionally constipated I guess. Yoga is a laxative... hmm...
So, 3 weeks left. Posture clinics and Dialogue recitation should come to an end within the next week, and Bikram will be lecturing on each individual posture soon. We are having a Halloween party Monday night, hopefully it won't turn out to be some sort of vapid freak show! 6 weeks of seeing each other half-naked in a hot room is bound to have some... effects. . . Im sure the buzz of Graduation will start to pick up, as will the realization that this "yoga bubble" won't last forever. As disconnected as Ive felt from everyone the past couple of weeks, I cant begin to explain the sadness I feel about having to say goodbye to some. I hope that in the coming weeks, I can at least express that sentiment to the ones that have impacted me the most.
Goodnight my pets! You'll hear from me again soon!
Monday, October 17, 2011
This day in History - Bikram's critique...
Hello lovies!
Winding down Day 1 of Week 5. Took our big Anatomy exam this morning, which was a "piece of cheesecake", delivered dialogue for Triangle Pose in Posture Clinic (was one of the firsts this time to get it out of the way so I rested in the corner and flirted a bit with a boy - all in good fun!), and felt a little ballzy knowing Bikram was teaching our yoga class this evening so I practiced right in front of him hoping for a comment, wildly uncensored correction, or a chucked Coke bottle at my head - ya know, I was happy to get anything. . . And instead - when we got to Head to Knee with Stretching Pose, he said "Look at that! A perfect Head to Knee Stretching, haven't seen one in a long time! What am I going to do, you don't need me anymore!"... I didnt realize it was directed at me until I peeked out from under my left armpit and he made eye contact with me! I NEARLY soiled myself!
So Anatomy lectures are over. From here on out we will be on a varied schedule with assorted Posture Clinics (sometimes 2 in a day), Lectures, and late night Bollywood movies. Some have said that we are ahead of schedule for Dialogue Recitation so we may finish Posture Clinics by the end of Week 7. I'm sure that if that is the case, they can and will find other ways to torture us! LOL!
I'm still firming up muscles near as I can tell. Got a little water-weight off and on just by the sheer volumes of it we must drink to stay ahead of the dehydration curve. I don't mind though. At least I'm not sick or leaving the room (thankfully that whole mess has tapered off for most of the trainees at this point). My postures are getting stronger sans the Standing Bow Pulling Pose. I've totally lost my nerve in that one for some reason. But all the others are starting to look kinda pretty! Also, I'm noticing calluses appearing on absolutely bizarre parts of my body (ie tops of my feet, over my knee caps, across my hip prominences, on my fingers above my fingernails, and under my chin). These seem to be the active pressure points for alot of fixed and intense postures, so I'm not really surprised.
My calm, patience, and sense of servitude has somehow grown over the past several weeks, and it wasn't forced. It seemed to have happened naturally. Those of you that know me would probably consider me a very Type A Personality, with a very short fuse at times, and a wit and cunning with harsh words that can pierce like a double edged sword. I've gotten better about that in general over the years; I'm not nearly as careless with people's ego's as I once was. But here in the "Yoga Bubble" as some are calling it, I've really impressed myself with the amount of zen I've managed to find in the midst of high HIGH levels of physical and mental stress, coupled with a few snags in the flow back home. All I really know is that I could NOT have done any of this here at Teacher Training without my support group back home!
So a HUGE shout-out and thank you goes out to:
1) My studio owner and Bikram mentor, Lisa and Joan respectively
2) My mom and dad, and siblings
3) My (unfortunately) former roomate, Robert/Dean
4) My BEST friends Diana (and husband Stephen), Lauren and Nana, and Jew/Jefferson
5) ALL of my friends and boss at Trinity!
Good God if I forgot ANYBODY please give me a break! I love you just as much, my brain just isn't working all systems go at this point in the Training process! LOL!
Anyway, I will try to get a video up for next time. Please be safe and I can't wait to see you all when I get back HOME!!!
More laa..... Yeah you know the drill... ;-)
Winding down Day 1 of Week 5. Took our big Anatomy exam this morning, which was a "piece of cheesecake", delivered dialogue for Triangle Pose in Posture Clinic (was one of the firsts this time to get it out of the way so I rested in the corner and flirted a bit with a boy - all in good fun!), and felt a little ballzy knowing Bikram was teaching our yoga class this evening so I practiced right in front of him hoping for a comment, wildly uncensored correction, or a chucked Coke bottle at my head - ya know, I was happy to get anything. . . And instead - when we got to Head to Knee with Stretching Pose, he said "Look at that! A perfect Head to Knee Stretching, haven't seen one in a long time! What am I going to do, you don't need me anymore!"... I didnt realize it was directed at me until I peeked out from under my left armpit and he made eye contact with me! I NEARLY soiled myself!
So Anatomy lectures are over. From here on out we will be on a varied schedule with assorted Posture Clinics (sometimes 2 in a day), Lectures, and late night Bollywood movies. Some have said that we are ahead of schedule for Dialogue Recitation so we may finish Posture Clinics by the end of Week 7. I'm sure that if that is the case, they can and will find other ways to torture us! LOL!
I'm still firming up muscles near as I can tell. Got a little water-weight off and on just by the sheer volumes of it we must drink to stay ahead of the dehydration curve. I don't mind though. At least I'm not sick or leaving the room (thankfully that whole mess has tapered off for most of the trainees at this point). My postures are getting stronger sans the Standing Bow Pulling Pose. I've totally lost my nerve in that one for some reason. But all the others are starting to look kinda pretty! Also, I'm noticing calluses appearing on absolutely bizarre parts of my body (ie tops of my feet, over my knee caps, across my hip prominences, on my fingers above my fingernails, and under my chin). These seem to be the active pressure points for alot of fixed and intense postures, so I'm not really surprised.
My calm, patience, and sense of servitude has somehow grown over the past several weeks, and it wasn't forced. It seemed to have happened naturally. Those of you that know me would probably consider me a very Type A Personality, with a very short fuse at times, and a wit and cunning with harsh words that can pierce like a double edged sword. I've gotten better about that in general over the years; I'm not nearly as careless with people's ego's as I once was. But here in the "Yoga Bubble" as some are calling it, I've really impressed myself with the amount of zen I've managed to find in the midst of high HIGH levels of physical and mental stress, coupled with a few snags in the flow back home. All I really know is that I could NOT have done any of this here at Teacher Training without my support group back home!
So a HUGE shout-out and thank you goes out to:
1) My studio owner and Bikram mentor, Lisa and Joan respectively
2) My mom and dad, and siblings
3) My (unfortunately) former roomate, Robert/Dean
4) My BEST friends Diana (and husband Stephen), Lauren and Nana, and Jew/Jefferson
5) ALL of my friends and boss at Trinity!
Good God if I forgot ANYBODY please give me a break! I love you just as much, my brain just isn't working all systems go at this point in the Training process! LOL!
Anyway, I will try to get a video up for next time. Please be safe and I can't wait to see you all when I get back HOME!!!
More laa..... Yeah you know the drill... ;-)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Continuously keep studying, the more you study, you can study forever...
HEY FRIENDS!
I can never get sick of the feeling or saying to you that I survived another week! Partially because I can hardly believe that I lived... So, week 3 - DONE!
Last week was pretty intense. We started posture clinics in the afternoons, which are really more like dialogue recitation because we haven't received any substantial corrections on the postures themselves yet, we've just been reciting the dialogue for the postures to the senior teachers and our small groups. They say the posture corrections will come later when Bikram himself gives lectures on them. I managed to find a study technique that works pretty well for me, and have been staying current at least with the postures we do from day to day. I study the first letter of every word in the dialogue first, then just the first word of every line. By that point, I dont need the full written dialogue anymore, and with one word cues, I can recall and finish completely. My recitation is usually strong, they say, and my voice is very melodic (uh, yeah... musician?).
Sans one posture, where we had a terrible senior teacher leading our group who wasnt very nice and made me be the martyr for the group. We finished delivering Eagle Posture and went straight into Standing Head to Knee, which few were really prepared for. They started calling names and guess who they happened to call first?! - Yeah... Suckage. She rudely told me not to waste her time and go sit down. She told another student who was using her own body for recall of the dialogue to NOT do the posture while she was teaching it. The poor student said she was just trying anything to remember the words, and the teacher sharply replied "Oh, is that your opinion? Because I didnt ask for it. Sit Down!"... I hear through the grapevine that many, many students complained about that one to the head staff.
We also started anatomy lectures in the evening with Dr. Jim Preddy, an ER physician from Las Vegas - - - HELL YA! A guy on MY level! LOL! He is so clever, and so knowledgeable, and an incredible teacher. We covered the skeletal system, muscular system, and nervous system last week and tested over it today. Thankfully anatomy is a strong point of mine and with very little studying, I aced it! Though, to be fair, I think even the internationals, who knew very little English, managed to ace it. . . We will have Dr. P with us for the rest of this week, and out of all the staff and teachers I've met so far, I will be sorriest to see him go. What a guy! He's an osteopathic doctor (D.O.) and has been adjusting and cracking spines all week on his own spare time! He's also showed us some really useful stretches.
My yoga practice is getting pretty solid again, and the temps and humidity in the torture chamber have been great. I've decided that while I'm here, I have to work the most on Locus Pose and Standing Bow Pulling Pose. I may not have time to get the back strength for a really pretty Locus, but I am determined to work on the flexibility to get a really solid, full Bow Pose. Hopefully I can snag some good senior teachers while I'm here and get some help.
Towards the end of last week my emotions were a little raw and it just so happened that Friday night at Posture Clinic, we had a senior teacher named Terri, from Mass. . . She was SO kind, SO funny, SO inspiring, SO encouraging, she had everyone in the room in tears. We couldn't help it! After being ridden HARD all week by various staff and stresses, it was just a relief and a release to hear something positive!
In other news, I got to see Venice Beach this weekend and roam around in the sunshine with my cousin! It was beautiful! She says the next trip we do will be a Malibu beach, hiking, and coastal seafood! YUM!!!
So here we are in Week 4! Lots more dialogue to study, lots more anatomy to get through. The title of this post is a spoof off of a bit of dialogue, for those of you who didn't catch it. Sorry the communication has been less, we have been forced to be incredible efficient with what little free time we have each day.
It will pick up EVEN MORE next week when the Anatomy lectures are over and we have 2-a-day Posture Clinics and blaze a trail through the remainder of the dialogues. Also, Bikram will be back to give some lectures and likely make us watch more Bollywood movies until 4 in the morning.... Keep me in your prayers. . . LOL!
Stay tuned!
I can never get sick of the feeling or saying to you that I survived another week! Partially because I can hardly believe that I lived... So, week 3 - DONE!
Last week was pretty intense. We started posture clinics in the afternoons, which are really more like dialogue recitation because we haven't received any substantial corrections on the postures themselves yet, we've just been reciting the dialogue for the postures to the senior teachers and our small groups. They say the posture corrections will come later when Bikram himself gives lectures on them. I managed to find a study technique that works pretty well for me, and have been staying current at least with the postures we do from day to day. I study the first letter of every word in the dialogue first, then just the first word of every line. By that point, I dont need the full written dialogue anymore, and with one word cues, I can recall and finish completely. My recitation is usually strong, they say, and my voice is very melodic (uh, yeah... musician?).
Sans one posture, where we had a terrible senior teacher leading our group who wasnt very nice and made me be the martyr for the group. We finished delivering Eagle Posture and went straight into Standing Head to Knee, which few were really prepared for. They started calling names and guess who they happened to call first?! - Yeah... Suckage. She rudely told me not to waste her time and go sit down. She told another student who was using her own body for recall of the dialogue to NOT do the posture while she was teaching it. The poor student said she was just trying anything to remember the words, and the teacher sharply replied "Oh, is that your opinion? Because I didnt ask for it. Sit Down!"... I hear through the grapevine that many, many students complained about that one to the head staff.
We also started anatomy lectures in the evening with Dr. Jim Preddy, an ER physician from Las Vegas - - - HELL YA! A guy on MY level! LOL! He is so clever, and so knowledgeable, and an incredible teacher. We covered the skeletal system, muscular system, and nervous system last week and tested over it today. Thankfully anatomy is a strong point of mine and with very little studying, I aced it! Though, to be fair, I think even the internationals, who knew very little English, managed to ace it. . . We will have Dr. P with us for the rest of this week, and out of all the staff and teachers I've met so far, I will be sorriest to see him go. What a guy! He's an osteopathic doctor (D.O.) and has been adjusting and cracking spines all week on his own spare time! He's also showed us some really useful stretches.
My yoga practice is getting pretty solid again, and the temps and humidity in the torture chamber have been great. I've decided that while I'm here, I have to work the most on Locus Pose and Standing Bow Pulling Pose. I may not have time to get the back strength for a really pretty Locus, but I am determined to work on the flexibility to get a really solid, full Bow Pose. Hopefully I can snag some good senior teachers while I'm here and get some help.
Towards the end of last week my emotions were a little raw and it just so happened that Friday night at Posture Clinic, we had a senior teacher named Terri, from Mass. . . She was SO kind, SO funny, SO inspiring, SO encouraging, she had everyone in the room in tears. We couldn't help it! After being ridden HARD all week by various staff and stresses, it was just a relief and a release to hear something positive!
In other news, I got to see Venice Beach this weekend and roam around in the sunshine with my cousin! It was beautiful! She says the next trip we do will be a Malibu beach, hiking, and coastal seafood! YUM!!!
So here we are in Week 4! Lots more dialogue to study, lots more anatomy to get through. The title of this post is a spoof off of a bit of dialogue, for those of you who didn't catch it. Sorry the communication has been less, we have been forced to be incredible efficient with what little free time we have each day.
It will pick up EVEN MORE next week when the Anatomy lectures are over and we have 2-a-day Posture Clinics and blaze a trail through the remainder of the dialogues. Also, Bikram will be back to give some lectures and likely make us watch more Bollywood movies until 4 in the morning.... Keep me in your prayers. . . LOL!
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
A little frustrated going into week 2...
So week 1 is over and done with. It was an amazing thing how much I learned about myself, my surroundings, and Bikram and the staff here. Got several really groovy guest teachers last week. Emmy was a fiesty one that diverted from the dialogue enough to give us all some very pointed detailed tips for the poses that improved my understanding of them greatly! A guy from the D.C. area came through and really helped boost moral by actually giving us a 90 minute class (as opposed the the 2 hour classes we've been having) and got us in and out of the poses quickly so everyone did very well and were very energized after that one. The heat in the room seemed to have found itself a nice balance by our last class on Saturday. I spent my weekend eating and sleeping and hanging with my cousin seeing a few inland things of L.A. All in all, week 1 was a success, despite the untimely womanly issues. Thank God that's out of the way!
So here we are, almost done with the first day of week 2. My morning class was strong with Bikram's niece. We are finishing up our dialogue delivery during lecture, will probably finish it tomorrow and start breaking into our small groups for the remainder of training. This evening's class was BRUTAL though... But it was brutal for everyone in different ways. Most people let the heat get to them and about as many people left the room today as what happened the very first day. There was something wrong with the fans or heating unit or something and air flow wasn't good tonight. EVEN BIKRAM left the class because he was so pissed off at the technicians that were supposed to be in charge of those things. Somebody snuck in a thermometer and said that it was 119 degrees F in there tonight... TOO HOT for most. . .
Oddly, the heat didnt bother me tonight, and could've been very therapeutic for me if the staff had allowed it. Around the 4th posture, I can't be for certain about what exactly I did but I ended up getting a pinched nerve in my shoulder. It hurt so bad I couldn't even take a full breath or lift my right arm over my head. So I stepped to the back of the room in hopes of stretching it out and not disturbing others. One of the staff picked up on it and dragged me out into the freezing cold hallway, despite my objections, and then it REALLY seized on me and I started crying. Dumb, I know.
I get that the majority of their students come out of the postures cuz they are overheated, dehydrated, or have some kind of electrolyte imbalance causing cramps and numbness and nausea and such. But my pinched nerve had nothing to do with any of that! I wasn't sick! Anyway, I had one of the staff members help me stretch it out a bit, and I went back in feeling better until the end of the class. People were still dropping like flies because of the heat, but my shoulder started acting up again so I stepped the the back again. THEN!!! One of the students waved down a staff member telling him "Oh my God I think her shoulder is out of place!". I'm waving them AWAY, trying to say NO NO! It's not that! And once again, they whisked me out into the hallway, where of course, it started hurting like HELL again. . . *sigh*
Finally got to see the nurse though, I explained that I was perfectly healthy and hydrated, I just must have moved my shoulder wrong. She gave me a few advanced yoga postures to try (One is touching your hands together behind your back and pulling traction against both shoulder blades... AMAZING!) and we decided that a bit of ibuprofin and maybe a Flexiril tonight will do the trick, along with a nice morning class to work the rest of it out. What an ordeal though!!!
Anyway, week 1 was the period crap, and week 2 is starting with the pinched shoulder nerve. Joy... (Sarcasm)... I'm ready for a nice strong practice to return to me! UGH! I can do so much better than this! ... ok, ok... taking it in stride. .. breathe. . . I didn't realize that my practice here would be so vastly different than my practice back home. . . It will get better though, I'm told. Just hang in there. . .
Done venting. . . Sorry... I'll write some better stuff later. LOVE YOU!
So here we are, almost done with the first day of week 2. My morning class was strong with Bikram's niece. We are finishing up our dialogue delivery during lecture, will probably finish it tomorrow and start breaking into our small groups for the remainder of training. This evening's class was BRUTAL though... But it was brutal for everyone in different ways. Most people let the heat get to them and about as many people left the room today as what happened the very first day. There was something wrong with the fans or heating unit or something and air flow wasn't good tonight. EVEN BIKRAM left the class because he was so pissed off at the technicians that were supposed to be in charge of those things. Somebody snuck in a thermometer and said that it was 119 degrees F in there tonight... TOO HOT for most. . .
Oddly, the heat didnt bother me tonight, and could've been very therapeutic for me if the staff had allowed it. Around the 4th posture, I can't be for certain about what exactly I did but I ended up getting a pinched nerve in my shoulder. It hurt so bad I couldn't even take a full breath or lift my right arm over my head. So I stepped to the back of the room in hopes of stretching it out and not disturbing others. One of the staff picked up on it and dragged me out into the freezing cold hallway, despite my objections, and then it REALLY seized on me and I started crying. Dumb, I know.
I get that the majority of their students come out of the postures cuz they are overheated, dehydrated, or have some kind of electrolyte imbalance causing cramps and numbness and nausea and such. But my pinched nerve had nothing to do with any of that! I wasn't sick! Anyway, I had one of the staff members help me stretch it out a bit, and I went back in feeling better until the end of the class. People were still dropping like flies because of the heat, but my shoulder started acting up again so I stepped the the back again. THEN!!! One of the students waved down a staff member telling him "Oh my God I think her shoulder is out of place!". I'm waving them AWAY, trying to say NO NO! It's not that! And once again, they whisked me out into the hallway, where of course, it started hurting like HELL again. . . *sigh*
Finally got to see the nurse though, I explained that I was perfectly healthy and hydrated, I just must have moved my shoulder wrong. She gave me a few advanced yoga postures to try (One is touching your hands together behind your back and pulling traction against both shoulder blades... AMAZING!) and we decided that a bit of ibuprofin and maybe a Flexiril tonight will do the trick, along with a nice morning class to work the rest of it out. What an ordeal though!!!
Anyway, week 1 was the period crap, and week 2 is starting with the pinched shoulder nerve. Joy... (Sarcasm)... I'm ready for a nice strong practice to return to me! UGH! I can do so much better than this! ... ok, ok... taking it in stride. .. breathe. . . I didn't realize that my practice here would be so vastly different than my practice back home. . . It will get better though, I'm told. Just hang in there. . .
Done venting. . . Sorry... I'll write some better stuff later. LOVE YOU!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A week of FIRSTS. . .
"HI!!!... oh geez I have a big voice!... hello..." - Was the first thing I said to Bikram himself through the microphone this afternoon. Yeah, I have big lungs, and a big voice. It's no wonder why all of my band directors through high school and college wanted me to try-out for Drum Major. Anyway, I almost blew up the speakers! I adjusted of course, and it made everybody laugh, so it was a bonus. I saved face pretty well, lowering my voice and giving off some sort of sultry british-ish "Hello... ;-)". Then I was off. I delivered my first dialogue recitation to Boss and more than 400 other people. . . WOAH. . . I don't remember much of the talking I did, and honestly I required a little prompting to get all the words out (Effing nerves) but all in all it went well. When I finished Bikram smiled smugly and said "Ah, the nerves got you in the beginning, but I know you. I know you do MUCH better than this. But good!" and called to the next nervous wreck behind me in line ("heart attack proof" my ass!). AND I'm DONE! Well, at least for delivery goes the rest of the week. Going to be pleased as punch to hunker down in the back of the room now and study future dialogue and enjoy the rest of the hot messes that cross the stage.
Additionally, yesterday was my first time to do TWO bikram yoga classes in one day. EVER. And I LIVED! And am doing really well actually. I have already hit on a winning combination of water supplements, at least for me and my body. 1 liter of water and 1 EmergenC packet, and 4-5 pinches of Sea Salt. Tastes awful, works great! So far no soreness at all, and no more of the tingling/buzzing/cramping like I experienced the first day. Sweating like you sweat in bikram yoga saps not just water out of you, but massive amounts of electrolytes; specifically, Sodium. You pee out the Potassium so as for the "heat-of-the-moment" (See, I made a funny!...), salt is the most basic thing your body needs. Raj, Bikram's wife, told us of a home made water drink she makes with salt, sugar, and lemon. I'm doing a very similar thing and it really has saved my butt these past few days!
I was able to see myself in the mirror for the first time tonight as well. I got a spot of the second row. You must understand though, this hot room can hold well over 700 people, and with all the students, staff, and guests practicing, there are like, 20 rows or more. Sadly, when I got to my spot in front of the mirror tonight, I was super tired from the day. I was tough and got most of the postures done, but I had kindof hoped to be really strong tonight, and make some strong adjustments. Meh... Everyday is different. "Like becoming virgin again, everyday", Bikram says. . . I will take pictures of this massive room soon. Watch for them in my next post!
So the schedule as far as I can tell goes something like this. . .
0830-1000 - Yoga Class
1000-1200 - Lunch Break/study dialogue
1200-1600 - Lecture/Posture Clinic
1700-1830 - Yoga class
1830-2100 - Dinner Break/study dialogue
2100-??? - Bikram's Lecture (can go til 3am or later)
That is all Monday-Friday. Saturday morning we will have class, then be set free for the rest of the weekend. Hoping to find a place to do some laundry, and see some family and friends. . . AND SLEEP. God knows Im going to need it as the rest of the 9 weeks is going to step up the intensity. Love you and miss you all back home!
More later! <3
Additionally, yesterday was my first time to do TWO bikram yoga classes in one day. EVER. And I LIVED! And am doing really well actually. I have already hit on a winning combination of water supplements, at least for me and my body. 1 liter of water and 1 EmergenC packet, and 4-5 pinches of Sea Salt. Tastes awful, works great! So far no soreness at all, and no more of the tingling/buzzing/cramping like I experienced the first day. Sweating like you sweat in bikram yoga saps not just water out of you, but massive amounts of electrolytes; specifically, Sodium. You pee out the Potassium so as for the "heat-of-the-moment" (See, I made a funny!...), salt is the most basic thing your body needs. Raj, Bikram's wife, told us of a home made water drink she makes with salt, sugar, and lemon. I'm doing a very similar thing and it really has saved my butt these past few days!
I was able to see myself in the mirror for the first time tonight as well. I got a spot of the second row. You must understand though, this hot room can hold well over 700 people, and with all the students, staff, and guests practicing, there are like, 20 rows or more. Sadly, when I got to my spot in front of the mirror tonight, I was super tired from the day. I was tough and got most of the postures done, but I had kindof hoped to be really strong tonight, and make some strong adjustments. Meh... Everyday is different. "Like becoming virgin again, everyday", Bikram says. . . I will take pictures of this massive room soon. Watch for them in my next post!
So the schedule as far as I can tell goes something like this. . .
0830-1000 - Yoga Class
1000-1200 - Lunch Break/study dialogue
1200-1600 - Lecture/Posture Clinic
1700-1830 - Yoga class
1830-2100 - Dinner Break/study dialogue
2100-??? - Bikram's Lecture (can go til 3am or later)
That is all Monday-Friday. Saturday morning we will have class, then be set free for the rest of the weekend. Hoping to find a place to do some laundry, and see some family and friends. . . AND SLEEP. God knows Im going to need it as the rest of the 9 weeks is going to step up the intensity. Love you and miss you all back home!
More later! <3
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